How to Approach the Generation Gap in the Workplace
Sam Kalda
A generation gap is widening in the workplace. As baby boomers (ages 51 to 69 or so) express reluctance about retiring, so-called millennials (roughly ages 18 to 34) have become the single largest demographic in the American labor force. Because of this, more older workers have found themselves being hired and managed by people much younger than they are.
The Workologist hears fairly frequently from people who have experienced fallout from this reversal of expectations — including cases that might run afoul of age discrimination laws. But often the problems are more subtle and ambiguous, which makes them harder to address. So on the second anniversary of this column, I asked readers to help me get a handle on the issue. I was inspired by a query from a 52-year-old job candidate who wondered, after a baffling interview that did not lead to a job, about the thinking of hiring managers who were significantly younger than her. I sought to offer practical suggestions for applicants looking for work in a job market that often prizes youthful qualities over experience, or to help workers reporting to a manager a couple of decades their junior. So I reversed this column’s traditional formula and asked readers for their thoughts and tips.
You had plenty to say, offering hundreds of thoughtful, useful and insightful replies. The overwhelming majority of respondents who revealed their ages were 50 or older. While their advice encompassed a range of attitudes and experiences, several common themes and suggestions emerged. My thanks to everyone who responded.
CHECK YOUR OWN BIAS. For starters, it’s worth remembering that making age-based assumptions works both ways, wrote Julianna Warren, echoing a point made by several other readers. Don’t assume that bosses or co-workers who lack your experience need a lecture about how things were done back in the day: “A co-worker, no matter how young, may know more than you do about some things, and information-sharing can be a useful two-way street.”
Keep in mind that any manager or potential employer is likely to pick up on a lack of respect, and behave accordingly. Jack Terry proposed a few questions worth asking: “Are you dismissing the millennial in the workplace? Do you roll your eyes when they talk about student loan debt? Do you poke fun at their use of technology? If so, step back for a moment and rethink your approach,” he wrote. “What was life like for you at that age?” His advice is to “build a bridge and connect with the people you work with.”
“Be open to learning from younger people,” said Mary Jacobs, who described a “great experience” with a boss 23 years her junior. “She saw how I could help her,” Ms. Jacobs wrote — but that didn’t mean she always wanted the hard-earned-wisdom point of view. “If she didn’t follow my advice, I let it go.”
SEE IT THEIR WAY. It’s possible that some younger managers “don’t want talented, energetic older people blocking ambitious career paths,” wrote Jim Rowbotham. In short, a perceived slight may spring from fear rather than disrespect.
William Cannon also pointed to that possibility, and suggested allaying that concern by clearly signaling that “you respect the authority of your boss.” Be strategic about demonstrating your experience and wisdom, he said: “Hold your tongue and allow your expertise to slip out a bit at a time, and work toward consensus with your boss and larger work team.”
Show the same respect you did for more seasoned bosses in the past, JMG (who did not want his full name used) wrote: “Your knowledge and experience will be valued if the younger boss is not threatened, and knows that you have his (or her) back.”
AGE, AND HOW TO ACT IT. One of my favorite responses came from Robert Goldfarb, 85, a working management consultant. “The moment I enter the office of a prospective client, there’s an elephant in the room,” he wrote. “My age.” He says he makes sure to skip allusions to Grace Kelly or Sugar Ray Leonard (“much less Sugar Ray Robinson”). But more seriously, he seeks to demonstrate immediately, through conversation and attitude “that what I have become is more important than a number,” he said. “I’m there to talk about tomorrow, not yesterday.”
Many readers made similar points about projecting the right attitude, and a word that came up over and over was “energy.” A surprising number of self-identified “older” respondents also emphasized fitness and other elements of physical appearance. I have mixed feelings about that: It’s obviously good to stay healthy, but I’m not sure what to make of, for instance, one suggestion involving a Facebook video “of me dead lifting 275 pounds last month.”
The more useful framing is probably less extreme. “You don’t have to dress or talk like someone who’s 20 or 30 years younger,” Leslie Wengenroth wrote, “but you need to negate the stereotypical views that people often have of an older person.” Project enthusiasm and engagement. People who seem to be looking to mark time until retirement aren’t going to make a great impression, whatever their age. If you’re not sure how you come across, Ms. Wengenroth said, record or make a video of yourself, “or ask a friend for honest feedback.”
Mr. Goldfarb’s experience certainly suggests the right presentation trumps the stereotypes: One of his recent jobs was for a marketing firm where he was “interviewed by staff who appeared fresh out of nursery school,” he wrote. “I told the firm’s C.E.O. I was surprised his young team selected me. ‘I was, too,’ he said, ‘but they told me they wanted your wisdom.’ ”
NUMBERS GAMES. Multiple readers had related résumé suggestions for job seekers of a certain age. “You do not need to list every single job you’ve ever held, all the way back to the ’64 World’s Fair,” Cathi Venis said. Several others advised omitting the year of a college degree if you’re concerned it might date you.
Jane DeWitt had an interesting perspective on this, having been a young hiring manager in the past, and an “older” job seeker today. She has added one of the younger ex-colleagues with whom she had a “terrific” relationship to her list of references.
TECH TECH TECH. I doubt anyone will be surprised to hear that many readers emphasized staying current with technology. Many also pointed out that this is easier to do than ever: From instructional YouTube videos to courses at your local library, the resources are endless. Be conversant in tech-tool developments in your field; be curious about (not dismissive of) such developments in general; and be proactive, so you’re not just promising that you are willing to keep learning, but demonstrating that you do so all the time.
Readers also stressed the importance of social media platforms like LinkedIn and Twitter. Your future may not depend on obsessing over a digital “following,” but the fact that these tools are so popular makes them worth exploring — and some can be useful networking aids. Dismissing the entire category out of hand can, intentionally or not, send a message that you’re closed-minded and resistant to change.
THE GOOD NEWS. The last of the recurring themes that I have space to mention boils down to: Don’t “assume victimhood,” as one reader, Lance Tukell, put it. “I coach those wishing to obtain employment to focus on things that they can control, chronological age not being one of them.”
And while the reader response has made it clear that age bias can be a real challenge, there are many counterexamples that demonstrate how it’s being overcome. Consider Tony Maramarco’s description of a work team whose members range in age from 24 to 68: “Those on the ‘younger side’ acknowledge our decades of experience and respect us for our competence. We on the ‘older side’ don’t preach or pontificate and remain open to new ideas.”
“Have confidence, be curious,” advised A. Lucas, who is 62 and working happily with colleagues half her age and younger at a start-up. “And if they don’t want to work with you because you’re ‘too old,’ perhaps you don’t want to work with them either,” she said.
by Rob Walker