Women In The Workplace And The Determination To Succeed
You may have heard the adage, "a man walks into an interview and sells themself at 125% of their worth, while a woman with the same qualifications walks into the same interview and asks for 60% of their worth." Over the past few months, on multiple occasions, I have encountered numerous female professionals who have shared "they don't feel qualified" for various job opportunities. Upon diving deeper into each of the conversations, I uncovered that their feelings of inadequacy were unmerited. How do we resolve these feelings of inferiority among women in the workplace? How do we build confidence, for ourselves and for our peers and colleagues?
As a woman with more than 20 years of experience in business development, I've had many learning experiences along the way. Some good and some, well, not so good. I've heard a lot of "yes" but a lot more "no." The one thing that holds true, regardless of whether a situation can be counted as a win or a loss, is that I always reflect and learn, appreciate the highs and identify lessons learned from the lows. In fact, when I look back at my career, although the "failures" aren't necessarily the parts I'd like to rehash, they've actually provided me with the greatest growth opportunities in my career.
So, how does this translate to building confidence for female professionals and losing the feeling of inferiority? Learning is what builds character. And that character is what gives you the ammunition to get back up and try again and again and again — and to never stop. That's not to say along the way there won't be some pivots, but you have to keep going.
Early on in my career, I was introduced to the book The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino. It's a quick read with many pearls of wisdom, but there's one quote that constantly resonates with me and drives me to do more: "Failure will never overtake you if your determination to succeed is great enough."
The determination has to outweigh the failures. Some of those failures and setbacks have included having my character shot down by a bully boss, being let go from a job for unjustified reasons, overcoming adversity posed by chauvinistic founders with no self-awareness and pushing past breast cancer and working through chemotherapy to sustain some sense of normalcy. None of this was easy. But everything is possible.
Below are five tips I've learned along the way to help make anything possible, whether you're an experienced professional or just getting started in your career.
1. Don't take things so seriously. For a moment in time (some moments are longer than others), things may seem dire or impossible, but remember "this too shall pass." Whenever possible, try to have a sense of humor about things and remember that tomorrow is a new day.
2. Find mentors throughout various stages of your career. As people, we evolve, and so too does our need for support in different facets of our experience. Along the way, diverse people provide different perspectives. Choose what you want to take with you and leave the rest behind, but remember to stop and acknowledge the people and moments that matter.
3. Be a giver, not a taker. Whether in a professional or personal forum, there's much more to gain from being a giver, rather than a taker. As a taker, your moment to take is fleeting. As a giver, you are building trust and loyalty that can last a lifetime.
4. Surround yourself with people smarter than you. This may seem simple enough, but too many times I've been in companies where managers are afraid to hire people who are smarter than them. Surrounding yourself with people who are in some way smarter than you makes you ultimately look like the wise one. At the same time, look for opportunities for self-improvement to make yourself better.
5. Never stop learning. Wherever and whenever possible learn something new. Ask questions, network with new people and remember to read. As simple as those tasks sound people often overlook them. As young children, we learn how to learn and as adults, we sometimes forget and rest on our existing knowledge. There's always more to learn. As Dr. Seuss so eloquently stated, "The more you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."
We need to teach all women to ask for what they are truly worth, and then some. After all, if you don't ask, you most likely won't get what you want. And sometimes, even if you do ask, you still won't get what you want. But until you put it out into the universe, the idea of something only exists in your mind.
I will leave you with a final thought, something my father shared with me when I was a young child during a trip to Disney World, a quote from Walt Disney: "All of our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." I remind myself of this every day and try to share it with as many people as I can to inspire others. Pass it on.
by Tracy Avin